Insomnia

So it's been 3 days since i was not able to sleep before 1 am in the morning, yesterday I slept at 4 am.  This winter, among all the other winters I  had been in Chicago, on campus, is the most sleep deprived one. Well maybe my first winter here was more sleep deprived. I don't recall having not sleeping enough the second winter I was here, maybe that's because I was actively working my second winter here, the other two winters I was not actively employed although I am supposed to be doing research with my professor on fingertip sensors.

A lot of things I would like to talk to someone about could not be spoken with words, I guess that is what this blog is for. Blog = Weblog. (just throwing it out there).

Constantly the past three days, my mind was filled with thoughts, one after another, mixed with flashbacks, day dreams, ideas. Mostly flashbacks. Majority of the flashbacks is from my adolescent years-16-18. I wonder if events occurred during that period was predominant for regular human beings. I suppose it would help to list the things scattering in my mind than let them trouble me.


1. The wooden desk, checkered table cloth and that dusty lamp. It was purple. For some reason, I never bother to clean up the layered dust gathered on any of my electronics.

2. I want to watch a movie with my Dad. Somewhere online.

3. I'm old, growing old everyday. I could feel my bones cracking sometimes...and yet I'm still too lazy to take vitamins or doing exercises. It is ridiculous. The consequences of not taking vitamins or exercise frequently is not what I would want.

4. I feel like I have been trying very very very very very hard to recall every single detail in highschool; which dorms did I stay at, how I felt when I was in high school, I want to read my hand-written diaries from then. I miss it.

5. I hate how I resemble my stereotypical horoscope in every single way especially nostalgic.

6. I want to knit my dad a hat.

7. I miss my mom too much to not feel guilty I miss her.

I think i'm going through a very tough time right now for some reason. I guess I have not been busy enough...